Grace Dent

The Latest from Grace Dent

Posh and Prejudice

At the end of the school year, sixteen-year-old Shiraz Bailey Wood isn't expecting incredible grades. But when her test results come in, she's astonished to discover not only that she passed them all, but that she's also actually clever! Emboldened by an invite to higher-level classes, Shiraz decides she can't waste her brain power frying eggs for minimum wage at the greasy spoon Mr. Yolk. So even in spite of her mum's objections that it ain't her place, Shiraz enrolls in Superchav Academy's "Center of Excellence" to get even brainier.

Read an excerpt from Posh and Prejudice

More from Grace Dent

Diva Without a Cause

Fifteen-year-old Shiraz Bailey Wood’s days are filled with hanging around outside Claire’s Accessories, her parents work crap jobs, and her school is pretty much loser central. But this lovable British dreamer with a brain and a heart of gold is beginning to feel there might be a lot more to life than minimum wage and the bling of a souped-up car.

Read an excerpt from Diva Without a Cause

What Is a Chav?

Over recent years "chav" became a huge buzzword in Britain to describe low-income people. In particular poor white teenagers from very working class backgrounds.

The truth is that in Britain we do have a problem with teen drinking, teen street crime, teen pregnancy, teen shoplifting etc. Yes, we've got gangs of kids standing about on street corners being a nuisance or kids driving cars around town centers playing loud hip hop, general anti-social behavior etc.

So "chav" quickly became media shorthand for anyone young, a bit poor, and up to no good. The word caught on. If your car window was broken, hey, it was probably "those chavs who hang out by Burger King." And no wonder taxes were so high "with all those chavs getting pregnant and needing welfare money." "This country is going to the gutter, the chavs are everywhere!", "You can't have anything nice in this country anymore—chavs just want to spoil it!", etc.

Very soon, "chav" branched out to describe poor people of any age. "Hey, you don't want to send your kids to that school—have you seen the chav mums outside smoking cigarettes?" And "I'd never go on holiday to Jamaica - it's sooooo chavvy, all the chav families go there!" Blah, blah, blah.

In the media there's been a lot of discussion about "What is a chav?", examining "chav culture" —basically taking the mickey out of the way a lot of low income and no income British people live their lives. The sports clothes and hoodies they wear. The dogs they have. The mindless TV they might watch. The bad jewelry they love. The way they speak. Their limited views and opinions. A lot of it was just being horrible about poor people and their lack of supposed "class", really.

For me, however, the whole chav thing began to aggravate greatly. Yes, I understood that we were all having fun with a word and using it to let off some steam about societies wrongs. But personally, I started to find it all very snobbish and negative.

I came from a working class, poor background in the north of England. However, for the past ten years, I've moved pretty much wholly in London media circles where mostly everyone is from an affluent background, went to a very posh school, and was due to inherit money. Deep down, secretly, I knew I had much more in common with "chavs" than I had with Fenella Montague-Smythe and Fifi Bumptious-Wotnot who I'd meet every day at work.

It started to really anger me when I heard colleagues and friends say things like "Oh my God, I had to go to Manchester in the north of England the other for a conference. What a chav place that is!" or "Oh my God, you can't go shopping in Bluewater Mall on a Saturday! You can't move for chavs. It's disgusting" or "I never go to ASDA! It's full of chavs, I get my stuff delivered by Waitrose!"

I wanted to scream, "They're not chavs. They're just normal poor working class people doing nothing but going about their day. You can't write off entire swathes of people for not being middle-class. By your rules, I am a chav!! My mother keeps a ridiculous dog and they have no wealth and they watch Coronation Street every night and they go on vacation to Benidorm and shop at ASDA where they buy bargains from the Reduced section! There's nothing wrong with my family! They're not antisocial! They're just normal."

A lot of other people in Britain felt the same—they started saying they were a chav and proud of it.

The most important thing for me however, was how the idea of "chav" was being used to write off teenagers from low-income backgrounds. I visited a lot of local comprehensive schools filled with low-achieving, poor kids. They'd be quite happy to tell you that their school was famous in the area for being "the worst in the area" and how everyone said their school was a "chav school".

That seemed very unfair.

The message in the Diary of a Chav books is that girls from even the most poor, normal backgrounds can still achieve great things. Calling Shiraz Bailey Wood a "chav" in the title of the book is a bit of a tease, really. The fact that Shiraz wears a hoodie and hoop earrings, goes to a rough school, has a Staffordshire bull terrier, and uses slang when she speaks means that she's often find herself called a chav.

But the fact is that she is warm, honest, and bright, with a strong sense of right and wrong. So call her a chav if you like. Call her anything you like. She ain't bothered, bruv. Innit?

—Grace Dent, author of Diva Without a Cause

Chav English 101:

ASBO: (n.) Anti-social behavior order. The police give ASBO's to people to stop them causing trouble in a certain place. So if you always cause trouble in the park, your ASBO might forbid you visiting the park for 6 months. The Bruton Fletchers have a lot of ASBOs.

Baps: (n.) Boobs. Also boobies, breasts, blouse potatoes.

Earwigging: (vb.) Listening to something you ain't supposed to be. What mothers do when you're on the phone. Or when a boy you fancy walks past and you want to hear what he's saying.

Geezer: (n.) A man, a bloke, a guy.

Hoodie: (n.) A hooded sweatshirt or sports top. The British are obsessed with hoodies and think that if kids wear them with the hood up it means they're a criminal. LMAO. "Hoodie" has now came to mean "kid who causes trouble". ie: "I'll tell you who I reckon stole my car stereo? It'll be those hoodies from down the road who hang out by the chicken shop!"

Ming: 1: (adj) Ugly "Man, she’s got a nice body but her face is totally minging!" 2: To be ugly. "OMG- he mings big style! You have got to split up with him!" 3: Minger: (n.) An ugly, ugly person. "Don't be setting me up on any more blind dates with mingers!"

Mush: (n.) Mouth, gob. "Oi! Shut your mush!"

Rudegirl: (n.) A girl who thinks she tough or a bit of a gangster. "She acts like she's a rudegirl, but she ain't all that."

Snog: (vb., n.) An open mouthed kiss which may or may not include tongues. I once snogged Carlton Brown behind a bush after a Year 8 disco and he bit my face by accident and his breath smelled of Big Mac gherkins. It was proper disgusting.

Trackie: (n.) Track suit or sweat suit.

Winging: (vb.) To moan and complain. Also winger: He is a right old winger.